DEAR PAPA

Dear Papa, I believed the lie that You will never be proud of me because I hadn't reached the heights I felt I should have climbed. The unspoken expectations that hung over my head made me feel like I didn't measure up and I was disappointing the people who mattered the most. Make money, do the right thing at all times, get a second degree ... I tried to console myself by asking; "who needs to have or do these stuff anyway?" and "no one has it all together". I busied myself to shut out  thoughts of inadequacy and insignificance. Yet still, s hame walked with me; an unfriendly friend that didn't want to leave me alone. In spite of all this, You keep revealing the TRUTH that will never change.... there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! I keep asking, “Is it really true that You don't condemn me?" In those moments, the voices in my head fade away into nothingness as I clothe myself with  a garment of praise. I embrace the l...

Dear Papa, Just as an eagle can't help but soar, displaying it's innate tenacity, and a leopard cannot change it's nature, so do I want to be a true reflection of You. It’s so easy to be selfish and hide all You freely gave... to cower in fear at the battle line like the Israelites before the seemingly undefeatable Goliath. It’s very clear in Your Word that Your heart's desire is that Your people know who they are in You. A people who are unashamed of who You've made them. People who declare Your love and salvation to the ends of the earth. A bold and fearless people who actually BELIEVE! Now more than ever, the battle lines have been drawn. Help me to face the giants that are before me. I need strength for the task ahead. Oh, that my life will speak of Your unfailing love and power! Discovering who I am in You and accomplishing all that You've destined for me is all I need to do in these times. For the wicked one is seeking to manipulate Your perfec...

Dear Papa, Thoughts... memories... fears... doubts keep flashing through my mind. Thoughts that I'm not good enough. Memories of past shame and pain. Fears of what the future holds. Doubts that I won't be able to live in Your will for my life. They snowball into a huge mass of unhealthy musings that make me believe that I don't deserve to live another day on this earth. These thoughts bombard me and I feel I'm about to self-destruct. Maybe I should end my misery once and for all.... No! Wait! This is not Your plan for me. I can't go down without a fight. These thoughts are not my own! The devil is a liar and I can't afford to fail my generation and the ones to come. You have poured out soo much into me and this race can't end before I get to the finish line. The enemy in his craftiness tries to make You look like a hard taskmaster who is only interested in what I can do for Him but all You really care about is me. Yes, me! With all my faults and...