DEAR PAPA

Dear Papa, I believed the lie that You will never be proud of me because I hadn't reached the heights I felt I should have climbed. The unspoken expectations that hung over my head made me feel like I didn't measure up and I was disappointing the people who mattered the most. Make money, do the right thing at all times, get a second degree ... I tried to console myself by asking; "who needs to have or do these stuff anyway?" and "no one has it all together". I busied myself to shut out  thoughts of inadequacy and insignificance. Yet still, s hame walked with me; an unfriendly friend that didn't want to leave me alone. In spite of all this, You keep revealing the TRUTH that will never change.... there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! I keep asking, “Is it really true that You don't condemn me?" In those moments, the voices in my head fade away into nothingness as I clothe myself with  a garment of praise. I embrace the l...

Dear Papa, What's the next step? Life is full of cycles; a constant movement from one thing to the other. It's like a seamless evolution of thoughts, lifestyles, and ambitions. So why do I feel stuck in the middle? Is it okay to not know the next step? Is life supposed to be clear cut? Or am I the strange one? I put all my attention and energy into one thing and at the slightest disappointment I begin to question what You really want me to do in this season. I keep asking...seeking...desiring to know what You would have me do but all I hear is a deafening silence. The pressure to listen to the wisdom of men is so real right now. It will be undeniably easy to take the lead and try to drag You along but I want to live in Your perfect and not permissible will for my life. I refuse to be involved with anything that is not orchestrated by You. Should I take a step and trust that it's Your will? I have so many doubts and questions about where I need to be right now. Wh...