DEAR PAPA

Dear Papa, There are times I don’t think I can come before You. I become a total wreck when I know I messed up big time. Am I really worthy of the price that was paid by Your Son? How can You still look at me with soo much love   in Your eyes? My heart knows You’re calling and drawing me but my mind keeps condemning me. There are moments I feel like I can never be restored and our relationship is broken forever. It’s super easy to believe this. After all, if I was a judge, I wouldn’t forgive myself. Oh how grateful I am to You that I’m not! You are!! Your love keeps pursuing me! You do not look at me as a hopeless case. You’re the One who leaves the ninety-nine for the one…me! All You desire is that I come to You just as I am. Repentance is not only about being ‘sorry’ but it’s about totally depending on Jesus and having a deep understanding of who He is. He paid the price for me to be reconciled to You. His blood is more than able to cleanse me. I need to speak out and...

Dear Papa, It’s so easy to get overly familiar with You; to lose sight of who You really are… to assume that it’s okay to take a step without asking You. I have walked this path many times…on this path I have gone uphill and then downhill, using my own mind to figure out what my journey is supposed to be and it has been very draining.   I feel like my life is running in circles like the Israelites in the wilderness. And that not-so-little fox called pride makes me question why my life should ever be like the ‘unfulfilled’ Israelites in the wilderness. After all, I’m under a new covenant and Your grace is sufficient for me, right? But when I take another look at this cycle I have subjected my life to, the only conclusion I can come to is that You are bigger and greater than anything I could ever imagine or dream of. Your ways cannot be understood and Your unpredictable nature and sense of humor are out of this world. There is sooo much more to know about You! There are soo...

Dear Papa, What's the next step? Life is full of cycles; a constant movement from one thing to the other. It's like a seamless evolution of thoughts, lifestyles, and ambitions. So why do I feel stuck in the middle? Is it okay to not know the next step? Is life supposed to be clear cut? Or am I the strange one? I put all my attention and energy into one thing and at the slightest disappointment I begin to question what You really want me to do in this season. I keep asking...seeking...desiring to know what You would have me do but all I hear is a deafening silence. The pressure to listen to the wisdom of men is so real right now. It will be undeniably easy to take the lead and try to drag You along but I want to live in Your perfect and not permissible will for my life. I refuse to be involved with anything that is not orchestrated by You. Should I take a step and trust that it's Your will? I have so many doubts and questions about where I need to be right now. Wh...