DEAR PAPA

“That girl is not pretty, even Rosaliz is better.” When those words were said in my presence, I couldn’t believe it. I felt so empty and my self-worth spiralled down the cliff it had been holding on to for dear life. “Why did she just say that?” “Am I that unpleasant to behold?” These and many other questions ran through my mind. I expected this person to know better but of course, typical me smiled and pretended like those words didn’t cut into the very depths of my soul. As a child, I never thought too much about beauty or how I looked. I was content with living my life and having fun. I was overweight for my age group (I blame my mum but that’s a story for another day…lol). Anyways, it was when I noticed I was bigger than my peers that I started paying attention to the definition of ‘beauty’ at that time. I resigned to my fate of not being one of the ‘cool kids’ or ‘pretty girls’ but I never imagined I would hear anyone say it when I was within earshot.  I built a wall of defence an

I remember the day we first met, You looked at me with so much love, I gave up control and You were my safest bet. You gave me everything I needed, You never took Your eyes off me I felt loved Important Known… Then he came along, With his enchanting smile, I don’t know how I couldn’t see He told me everything I wanted to hear and more He made sure I never had Alone Time, It felt out of this world I ignored all the fear and doubts And I gave him all of me. Please don’t feel sad, It’s not You, it’s me! I know You won’t have anything to gain from taking me back, At least that’s what he says to me. I guess this is my reality, I’m too far gone What we had has to end I just need You to remember, It’s not You, it’s me!     Hey Dear Papa Fam! How are you?! Well, I don’t know if any of us have been in a position where we felt we were too far gone and God wouldn’t want to have anything to do with us. You are not damaged goods!! This is a li

Dear Papa, I don’t think I can come before You again. I’m a total wreck right now and I know I messed up big time. Am I really worthy of the price that was paid by Your Son? How can You still look at me with soo much love in Your eyes? My heart knows You’re calling and drawing me but my mind keeps condemning me and I feel like I can never be restored and our relationship is broken forever.  It’s super easy to believe this. After all, if I was a judge, I wouldn’t forgive myself. Oh how grateful I am to You that I’m not! You are!! Your love keeps pursuing me! You do not see me as a hopeless case. You’re the One who leaves the ninety-nine for the one…me! All You desire is that I come to You just as I am. Repentance is not only about being ‘sorry’ but it’s about totally depending on Your Son and understanding who He is. He paid the price and His blood is more than able to cleanse me.  Papa, help me to never feel like I’m unredeemable. I don’t want to waste my time listening to the lies of

“Anything that is thirsty will end up destroying what it was meant to help” and  “Anyone who is thirsty will  harm the people they were supposed to assist”.  I was using a steam iron to iron my mum’s dress and there was no water in it. I knew I had to put water in it but I didn’t and I almost ruined her dress. That was when the Lord spoke these words to me.  Jesus described Himself as the Living Water and He said if we drink of Him, we will never thirst again. How many times have you tried to help anyone when you hadn’t drunk of this water? How did it go? We can only help others when we stay connected to the One who sent us to them in the first place. Without water which represents the Word of God, we will end up leaving the people we wanted to help worse off than when we first met them. The Word of God transforms and renews us. It helps us to look beyond ourselves and to fix our eyes on the only One who can sustain us. We cannot give others what we don’t have.  Imagine someone who is

Do this… do that… Breathe in… breathe out… That is all I hear. Everybody has an antidote; a ‘cure’, But who said I haven’t tried? Who is there to hear me out? Who is ready to truly listen? I thought this life was about being, So why should they try to put me in a box? It’s getting crazy and I see frustration in their eyes, I tried, believe me, I did! But I’m glad I’m out of the box, The bonds of religion couldn’t hold me down, I’m seeking You because of who You are, And not to please the ones who ‘are’ because of You. You are not far away, You will not leave me, You’re holding my hand, And making sure, I do not slip away.       Hey Dear Papa Fam! It is so hard to try to function when you’ve been put in a box. How can you force yourself into a box when the heavens are too small to contain your Father? Living your life just to please others is not healthy at all and I want to encourage us to seek God’s face and ask Him to reveal who we are

Dear Daddy, It’s been fourteen years since I heard your voice. So much has happened and I sometimes wonder how life would have been if you were still here. How is heaven? I’m sure you’re still touring your new home since there’s nothing like time there and from what the Bible says, you’ve probably spent only a few seconds there. I know you’re having a great time! We’re also doing well here. It hasn’t been easy but God has been faithful. I have so much to say and many updates to give but I’ll try to keep this short. I’m still on the journey to fulfilling the promise I made to you.: I will make you proud! There have been moments I felt I couldn’t keep my word. The hills and valleys overwhelmed me but the One into whose capable hands you left me, sustained and strengthened me. There have also been times when I really wished you were here to celebrate with me. When I graduated from the university, when I overcame the fear of intimidating trucks and got my driver’s licence or even when